"I" am V/S am

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About me

on feb 14 1990 the love of my life was born on feb 14 2008 he will be 18 a beautiful man about 1 week later he is moving out going to Atl. to live and work with my brother another good man in my life who I love as well I have been thinking for a while what will I do when he is gone with all the time I used with him on him fussing over him just hanging out with him and for some time I have known that I wanted to find someone to love me like a woman should be loved. but I have a problem I have a hard time accepting nice things. I am hard headed, hard hitting, and I want what I want when I want it . I have a bad habit of holding things inside and over thinking things I even have a hard time excepting a genuine compliment.I guess its from a lifetime of thinking people exspected something from me and I didn't want to give to them because I was afraid I wouldn't have evough left over for the thing`s I have to do. like take care of myself so ,I could be there for my son when he needs me But I think he needs me to move on now so it`s ok for him to do the same . if you would like to try to crack the shell of this verry hard nut! then write to me..... a lot has gone on since I wrote this. my son is back home with me but it`s all good . July, 25, 08 Well I guess it`s time for an update. back in May I got layed off. and whith that came a great oportunity for a new begining. I hated that dead end job anyway. Even though i have worked most of my life in Construction. When I moved to Chattanooga 6 years ago to raise my son , I took work in resadentiall maintanance. Then a second job in a factory makeing gas appliance parts. I hate working inside, not enough air. So when i heard that the factory was moving to Mexico ,and that everyone who got layed off would be ellidgable for government funding to go back to school and earn a degree I got excited. I `ve had an intrest in solar tech. for some time now I beleive it`s a great way to help solve the energy crises in this country that most of us are suffering from. but in order to get into the clasees I wanted I had to get my G.E.D. first. Well that took all of 3 weeks. but there have been other test`s since then 2 weeks ago was the cumpass for placement . that allso went suprisingly well just have to take a class in algebra. So this fall. I will start classes. with photovalectic panell installation. and besides the TRA money coming from my unemployment I got a small pail grant . and then after taking my cumpass I was informed that the colledge I am going to is giving me a scholarship for my whole first year. so things are going well. I know its going to be tough with gas so high right now. ive got a little drive to get to school but at least my son is working. and his girlfriend moved in with us. and she got a job right down the street. we just have to figure out how to juggle this transportaion thing .With only one vehicle right now, my son is looking into getting a schooter. I know times are tough all around. but I am gratefull. I dont think I would have gotten this oppotunity otherwise I just need one more thing.

About you

you are a music lover but you have a love for all artistic things.including natures art. and maybe you get a glimps of real truth every now and again and then the world snaps back into view. and you don't always remember that clear picture you saw in that moment but you remember you once saw it and it felt good.you don't like theives . but you have a heart for all humans. you feel compasion , sometimes anger , hurt, and you want to feel needed, you remember that I tend to overthink,overreact and so you know when I get to a tence place you remind me everything will work out. it will be ok! you love the way I giggle when I am being silly . when I am upset it upsets you too. but you know with the right words you can change my mood. because you're on my side and i`ve got your back .when you make a decsion you always try to remember how I would feel about it. I know its a lot but you try and I give you credit. sorry to have to add this . but I will only return letters of caucasian men!