Deployed Soldier Seeks Homecoming Queen

LOADING

 

About me

Don't anybody call. I went to Afghanistan. Be back in a year. No need to read the rest. No. Correction. I went to Kuwait. Again. Back to the moonscape of hot, dry, dusty, barren, featureless Kuwait. But they have OIL! Lots of it. So, anyone interested in a cranky, stubborn, curmudgeon? Ya intersted in a pen-pal relationship for a year? With someone who's off his medication most of the time and off his rocker all the time? (Off my medication most of the time because it makes me feel too good. Nobody deserves to feel that good.) I'm interested, interesting, inquisitive, spontaneous, forgetful, and dopey. I'm also salacious, lecherous and treacherous. Love riding my Harley-Davidson with groups, on trips, or evening dinner rides. I have two bikes because I don't have a wife. They say if it has boobs or wheels it'll give you problems. I don't have the boobs to give me problems, so I have the wheels. Great fun. I have a passenger seat on the Softail, and if you fit, you can come along. Forget the walks on the beach, let's ride the bike. Besides, how many of you live close to a beach? I don't. And the sun is not my friend. It's already damaged my skin, so beach walks are at night. If we're at a beach. Movies? Let's ride the bike to the movies. Dinner? Let's ride to dinner. I've been taking violin lessons so I can play jazz like Stephane Grappelli, bluegrass like Lester Flatt, rock like Papa John Creech, and classical like Paganini. (I couldn't play like Paganini if I practiced a hundred years). I read voraciously, scuba dive sporadically, and swear profusely. But I'm a nice guy. I despise bullies (especially rank bullies in the Army), and root for the underdog. I'm looking for a good chemical match. That's right, isn't it?... We need a good chemical match? I don't know, I majored in business administration, not chemistry. I like satire, silliness and irreverence and the foregoing sez it all. If you read this far and believe half this stuff, you might be for me. Looking for my Gravel Gertie. And Jeff Dunham's dummy, Walter, is my patron saint. And PS Ladies; What's with the touchy-feely pictures of pets, flowers, landscapes and such? I want pictures of YOU, not your car, kids or pets. Oh, and those sensuous poses on a bed make me wonder who took the picture and is it a before or after shot? With the photographer? One more thing: You know the saying "people tend to look like their dogs"? Just remember this when you post pictures of your dogs and cats. You might be sending the wrong message. Am I cranky and crotchety enough? PS:Wanna shag?