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gentle617's blog

gentle617

dating online, using email and chat

Nervous? First meetings can give you cause for anxiety. Whether a blind date or a meeting in a grocery store at least you can see how the person acts and feeks. Now take away the opportunities to adjust on the fly and to let the other see you.

It is a tough way to begin.

Email and chat do not carry the intonation and nuance we hear when we listen to a voice.

Adding a web camera helps. You can see facial expressions and body language. Is that a "face you can love?" Only full video or a real meeting can tell you.

1st contact and early contact by email is odd. You press send. Who knows how and when the other will react? You have no opportunity to add context. What you choose to say should intrigue the other, and should provide information matched to what the person has said. If you were asked a question, respond clearly to it.

Chat is different. Ideally it allows conversation, a rapid exchange. Knowing how to converse and what subjects to choose is an art. Go deep in your interaction about subjects that interest both of you. Consider subjects like the nature of love, how two can get along well, what you like about your work with recent experiences, or some fun you had with one of your children.
 
Do you want me?  Ah, that question gets posed way to early.  Show how you think, how you communicate, what you value.

Can two people get to know each other online? Yes, to a degree.  Adding online phone with both people on web cams makes communication effective. If the objective is whether to meet locally for 5 minutes for tea, then one need not be as thorough in evaluating online. If the issue is whether to travel a far distance to consider relocating, the stakes are far higher.

Finding a mate locally makes more sense to me. Starting that process online is cool.

Bruce
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Comments

DARTDRAGONXXX
DARTDRAGONXXX 211 days agocomment permalink
 
Meeting someone locally is the best choice for when it is time, you can call and actually meet somewhere with out a lot of expense or risks.
When you press "SEND" you actually have no idea who is on the other side unless you know them! Cams are not fool-proof! Phone calls are not totally fool-proof, either! Meeting in person is the only true way to be sure all is real. You are right when you state that the long distance is a lot more risky!
You can get a feel of the persons personality by chatting or having traded a lot of letters for several months!
I do agree that it can be very nervous at the first meeting!
The Butterflies are running wild!
good post.
 
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mocahlatte
mocahlatte 150 days agocomment permalink
 
nice blog
but this is my comment
if u are destined to meet each other
no matter how far u are or
close if u are destined to meet it will happen..
gudluck for searching ur destiny
 
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artoshea
artoshea 142 days agocomment permalink
 
Where do they have a chat here? I like what you're saying. I just joined today and sent emails to people that were last here a year or two ago. Hope someone responds.
 
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sexy_woman
sexy_woman 134 days agocomment permalink
 
okhi my new fiend pls what is your name pls iwant to know u
 
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Forgetmeno
Forgetmeno 106 days agocomment permalink
 
I can say based on my own experience that there is no way for people to get to know each other through relationship that lives only on internet. Yes you can become friends but you never know where is the line draw between your imagination about someone and the real person.
I had 2 relationships with people I met over internet dating sites. 1st on with man from States. We dated for two years, we spent few weeks together but most of the time we were apart. That time was the best time. When we were physically together it didnt work. When you are talking online you dont know how this person behaves in group, in a store or just during simple daily things - those not important ones but when you put them together that makes you life. Our relationship crashed trying to resist the reality.
The second one -well we are married and guess what life is nightmare together.
I MUST SAY ONLINE DATING FOR LONG DISTANCES IS BIG NO!
 
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