Domestic Violence does not discriminate against age, race, color, creed, gender or sexual orientation. Women may hesitate to call for help... men are even less likely to seek assistance. Society has been taught to think of domestic violence victims as women....it is time for society to open their eyes!!
What are the characteristics of an abusive woman?
The characteristics of women (or men) who are abusive fall into three categories.
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Alcohol Abuse. Alcohol abuse is a major cause and trigger in domestic violence. People who are intoxicated have less impulse control, are easily frustrated, have greater misunderstandings and are generally prone to resort to violence as a solution to problems. Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics.
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Psychological Disorders. There are certain psychological problems, primarily personality disorders, in which women are characteristically abusive and violent toward men. Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women. Approximately 1 to 2 percent of all women have a Borderline Personality disorder. At least 50% of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with woman who have a Borderline Personality disorder. The disorder is also associated with suicidal behavior, severe mood swings, lying, sexual problems and alcohol abuse.
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Unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions. Women who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands of men. These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety, frustration and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior. In fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol. They blame men rather than admit their problems, take responsibility for how they live their lives or do something about how they make themselves miserable. They refuse to enter treatment and may even insist the man needs treatment. Instead of helping themselves, they blame a man for how they feel and believe that a man should do something to make them feel better. They will often medicate their emotions with alcohol. When men can't make them feel better, these women become frustrated and assume that men are doing this on purpose.
Read more here: http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
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The Rape of Males
Abuse Excuse
Helping Men
Safe 4 All
Men Stopping Violence
Abused Men - the hidden side of DV
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Male Survivors of Rape -- The forgotten 1 out of 5
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Male Survivor A resource for Male Survivors of abuse (CSA, male rape, psychological, physical or mental abuse)
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NAMSAS: NAMSAS (National Association of Services for Male Sexual Abuse Survivors)
SCOSAM: The 3rd Standing Conference on the Sexual Abuse of Men on 3rd and 4th November 2001 at Aston University, Birmingham UK.
Achilles Heel - Radical Men's Magazine : A very comprehensive Links & Resources Page on issues of relevance to men.
Mankind: Mankind UK is a support and resource service for men who have been sexually abused, sexually assaulted and/or raped. It is a National charitable organization based in Newhaven, East Sussex.
Fire in Ice: Fire in Ice is a Merseyside based self-help project run by and for the male survivors of institutional abuse as identified by Merseyside police investigations.
Mpower: Mpower is Norfolk's telephone helpline service for anyone who has survived, or been caught up in the consequences of, male rape, sexual assault or abuse, be it recent or in the past.
Father's Touch A web site about Donald D'Haene's memoir detailing his experience of sexual abuse in a seemingly traditional and strongly religious family in rural southwestern Ontario.
For Men Only A primer on male sexual assault published by the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center.
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Yahoo Groups
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If you are aware of a link or resource that you would like to see displayed on this page, please use this link to email the WADV Inc. - include website title, URL and a brief description please.
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Men and Sexual Rejection
Men and Sex for Women
A Series to Promote Sexual Understanding Between Men and Women
The fact that men are allowed to express themselves sexually from an early age gives them some confidence in the sexual arena. But the fact that they let their guard down here makes them more vulnerable than ever.
Their defenses are down and they are at risk. They are like a turtle without a shell-easily punctured and hurt.
In addition, men often don't distinguish between the rejection of them sexually and the rejection of them as a whole person.
But will they act hurt when they are rejected?
Probably not. That is not an acceptable emotion for men in our society.
They are more likely to act mad or sullen, or merely withdraw. Their defensive reaction to the injury is detached, distant, or critical in keeping with society's expectations of men.
Often the reaction is, "I'm gone; I'm out of here."
Does this mean women should have sex with men whenever or wherever the men wish, just to avoid wounding them in their vulnerable state?
Of course not. But it does mean they should be aware that men are particularly vulnerable before, during, and after sex. This is not the time to launch into a ten minute dissertation of what is wrong with his sexual technique.