For the woman who is searching for a Tall, Dark, Thin, Rich and Handsome Man, sorry, this is not for you.

This is for the woman who is in need of a man that doesn’t belittle her or call her names. Or make her feel bad about herself. This is for the girl who wants a boy to kiss her as if she was his favorite flavor. To kiss her as if her lips, mouth and skin held the secrets of life itself. This is for the Lady requiring a Gentleman who will open her door and repair her house (Old School) to fixing her computer and shampooing her hair (New School). Who will not embarrass her in public or in front of her friends (Not intentionally, anyway). This is for that groovy hippie chick who is in need of a far out stoner dude to watch movies and cartoons with. To listen to tunes with. To gorge on munchies with. This is for the funny gal looking for her goofy guy to laugh with (and at). To sing loudly and badly to the radio while on a road trip to wherever with. To talk and joke and wonder about everything under the stars with. This is for the sex kitten prowling for her lust dog.

Still here with me reading this? Really? Well then, I guess I should get to my Stats (height, weight, hair color etc.) and tell you a bit about myself.

Let’s start with The Good… I still have the majority of my hair. Which is short and light brown with a bit of silver starting to show (which I have to admit that I rather like). I am 5 foot, ten inches and weigh around 190 pounds (very nearly HWP and my butt looks great in 501's (Did I say that out loud?). My eyes are bluish grey. Honestly, the only thing I can really say about my looks are that some days I look in the mirror, hope it doesn’t crack and think, “Who the hell is that ugly malformed bastard!”. And some days I declare as I gaze lovingly upon my reflection, “There must be a God. Only Angelic intervention could be responsible for this gorgeous creature standing before me”. Of course I will gladly exchange photos with those that, after reading this, still want to. I am 43, but look, feel and (un)fortunately act much younger. Beyond age and looks I believe wholeheartedly in romance. Which for me means so many things. Romance is remembering her favorite flower and giving them to her, even if it’s not (shock) a holiday. Romance is a candlelit dinner prepared, served and yes, cleaned up after by me. Or maybe a candlelit bubble bath with chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. Or maybe a picnic basket stuffed with Delaurenti’s Italian deli meats, cheeses and breads, a bottle of wine and a blanket to spread out somewhere quiet. Or possibly breakfast in bed. Romance is a long, deep massage to relax you and make you feel good, not just as a precursor to sex. Or maybe a love poem written for you or a love letter sent to you. Although, I must admit that I am not one of those overly sensitive touchy-feely kind of guys that cries during a sunset while spouting poetry. Just sorta in the middle somewhere between Dirty Harry and Romeo. If Romeo was not tall, kinda pale, goofily cute, poor and Scottish/Irish. <> I am open minded to most things as well as accepting of others faults, as I have many myself. I’m easy going and fun to hang with. <> ‘Patience’ is my middle name. <> I have a goofy and skewed sense of humor. Hmmm, what else Good, Oh yes. I love to kiss. I won’t go into details on that one in this post as it would take pages of text to expound, explain and examine the phenomenon of The Kiss and kissing in general. But I must emphasise that kissing is a must for my well being and sanity.

Now for some of The Bad… I am an artist who never produces any art. As a younger man I flirted with a bit of local success with my paintings (scantilly clad buxom women atop steeds, dragons and draped across alters), but just stopped producing. Although I think and dream of sketching, painting, sculpting and writing constantly. Just having a difficult time putting pen to paper and brush to canvas. Although I have just recently started writing again. That is why I am searching for my Muse as well as my friend and lover. <> I am very 420 friendly, as are most of my friends. <> I live with room mates. <> I was a restaurant manager for many years until 2004 and just had to get out of that environment. Then I tried commercial fishing up in Alaska for a couple years. My God, but that was the freakin’ toughest endeavor I have been apart of. 16 hour days 7 days a week for weeks at a time in freezing cold weather in a boat with nothing but a bunch of guys on stormy seas. Yet I am thrilled that I got to experience an adventure that not many people will ever have the cajones to try . So now I am working for a realty company as an Interior Painter/plumber/electrician and am enjoying it, but it only pays about thirty two grand a year. So I may have to strike out on my own in the not too distant future as an Interior Painter. I enjoy doing it and seem to have a knack for it. <> My credit score sucks and I haven’t yet started a retirement fund. <> My car gets horrible gas mileage, but I like the extra room she provides for my work stuff and outdoors stuff. Yet some days I fear I may be hunted down by Vegan/Uber-Recycling/Go-Go-Green guys and gals who tie me to an old growth tree stump left over from deforestation with nothing on but a Utilikilt, chest bared and smothered with chocolate/coffee ice cream and left to the mercy of the Dreaded Mocha Weasels.

I am searching for my funny and mildly adventurous gal to take on road trips, day hikes, picnics and sightseeing with. I have no strong preferences regarding eye, hair and skin color.

Hellooooo!? Anyone there? Dammit! I knew no one would make to the end. Oh well, I guess it’s a life of celibacy. Must be time to join the Monk hood. Heck, except for the heavy brown robe, the friar tuck hair-do, Gregorian chanting and the God thing, I am nearly there if the hard part is being celibate.